The past couple years and especially this year Thanksgiving has brought about a completely different purpose and meaning. It changed from giving thanks and looking at my life with gratitude and acceptance of blessings to... becoming a “testing ground” of attitudes and relationships. Thanksgiving is NOW a day where the family sits in a room together in awkward silence or force themselves to participate in partial conversations WITH THE GOAL of getting a feel for how Christmas is going to be. If we are going to enjoy it and mend differences by then or if we are going to be hate it and leave asap.
My family is big and it seems there's always someone going through lost? tough? troubled? times … not sure how to describe it... and someone is always mad and fighting. I usually sit back and play nice and get along with everyone. This year – I had a harder time doing that. I wont get into the details, but now that I live closer to my family I see the destruction my family members were inflicting on others and themselves and watched, horrified in person, what I usually just heard about over the phone.
I'm hoping I can get to where I used to be and enjoy Thanksgiving. I'm going to work on it and hopefully by the time it rolls around this year I'll be accepting others actions/decisions and not let them affect my mood and holidays too much.
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